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Strength to Care

Lessons from Matthew & Isaac – Our CHARGE Syndrome Journey

Thankful

The word “Thanksgiving” has been the buzzword for the last week or so around the holiday we most commonly associate with getting together with family and friends to share a meal and give thanks.

I am not sure what this holiday means you…but for me it brings memories of when I was younger and of family gatherings at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. A small house on E Church Ave. that could barely contain everyone. Sometimes the food, mainly the pies and drinks had to be set up in the garage due to lack of counter space in the kitchen. Grandma always had a way, in a border collie-kind-of-way of herding us all together for holiday meals. The three staples of the year for our families were Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter…with a family reunion thrown in sometime in the summer for good measure. She had a way with keeping tabs on everyone and was able to inject that “grandma” card when needed to make sure we were there to be a part of the gathering.

Many of you know that I lost both of my parents at young ages. My father at age 52 and my mother at age 63. I am sad that my dad never met any of his grandkids and that my mom never was able to meet all of hers. On Theresa’s side, she lost her dad a few years ago, but distance always played a part in not having a special bond with his grandkids. I am grateful that our kids have a Grandma in Theresa’s mom. In fact, she lives a short 15 minutes from our home.

What I am thankful for in this season of my life is the realization that we are creating new traditions in our family, traditions that our own kids will carry with them as memories when they are older. I am thankful that we always have a new canvas to work with each and every day to paint those memories. When we hold on too hard to the past we hinder our ability to accept the future and all the possibilities that could be.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”  Helen Keller

I loved those words that I read recently from Helen Keller. The words made me look at my own life and reflect on what closed doors I may be longingly looking at…while ignoring the open doors in front of me.

There are many things that Matthew has taught us in the 9 years that he has blessed our family. I couldn’t even begin to name all of the “lessons” we have learned just from this one little boy. I am sure that you all have a “Matthew” in your lives, whether in a person or an experience that has changed your life. Each one of our children have taught us lessons, lessons that have shaped our family dynamic, our traditions and most importantly, our faith. My favorite phrase I like to use when describing our lives with Matthew is “not a day goes by that we do not see the unique fingerprints of God in our lives.”

As you enter into this holiday season take time to look for the open doors…create new traditions and new memories. And, look for those fingerprints…they will lead you to what you seek the most…peace and real happiness.

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”  I Thessalonians 5:18

2 Comments

  1. Debby Henry

    Hi Kevin,
    I enjoyed your update and especially the quote from Helen Keller – one of my most admired heroes! I had most of our family here for dinner but I must admit my heart was very heavy because my beautiful daughter, Linda, was not here. It’s so hard to realize that she has been gone 5 months already and most of the time, I simply cannot believe she is really gone.
    But after reading your blog, I focused on what I am thankful for and realized that, if Linda could not be here with us, I’m thankful that she is with our Heavenly Father.
    I am thankful for her 2 beautiful teen-age daughters that look and act sooo much like her. I’m also thankful for the large and loving family I do have and all the friends I’ve been blessed with. I’m really thankful for the wonderful trip to Greece, Turkey, Jordan and mostly, Israel!
    And I’m truly thankful for Christian Dads like you who are so devoted to your family and pour out your love and strength
    on them! God Bless you and yours, Kevin!
    Debby

    1. kmtroupe

      Thank you Debby for your kind words. Yes, the year after the death of a family member is rough, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I will be praying for you and your family this holiday season. Remember the good things and focus on where Linda is now, rejoicing with her heavenly father…what a Christmas this will be for her!

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