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Strength to Care

Lessons from Matthew & Isaac – Our CHARGE Syndrome Journey

Words can cut…

While traveling recently on my way home from an extended trip I experienced one of those dreaded delays that inevitably come when you travel. I missed a connecting flight, the very last flight of my journey home from the other side of the world due to our plane landing late. You can imagine that there were many emotions going through my body and mind after almost 45 hours of being awake with little sleep.

By the time my travel companion and I made it to the counter to the people who handle re-connecting you with another flight, there were several people already in line…people from our own flight and one that occurred just before us. As we made our way toward the front of the line the associates at the counter were dealing with each case. One gentleman, who apparently was not being appeased, tossed his tickets on the counter, said a few choice words about where they could park their plane, and stormed off. I know that at times I have had this same emotion…I have never acted upon it, but have experienced it.

I would assume that the people behind the counter who are there to specifically deal with “heated” moments like these have specialized training in dealing with people who’s travel plans have been interrupted. What happened next is the topic of this week’s Blog. I am not going to point out the airline, nor specifically the person…I won’t because I know that I have been faced with the same decision this associate faced…I would dare say they you have been in this “turning point” moment too. These are character building moments,  moments that can build or destroy.

“A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used.”  Oliver Wendell Holmes

Unfortunately it got ugly. Going against the training I would most certainly would assume the associate received, they lashed out with a sword. The associate yelled across the crowded terminal “I should call security on you for that behavior.” He had that coming…but it is what she yelled next, what got my ire: “I can’t stand dealing with retards like you.” The associate smiled to herself in a pat-myself-on-the-back way and proceeded to say to the next person in line…”May I help you?”

Everyone in line, myself included, stood frozen in time with a wide-eyed look on our face. I had to say something…but what? Do I follow the same path…go down the same road? My wife can attest that I am usually not a confrontational guy. I could probably count on one hand how may times I have had my hair stand up on the back of  my neck like a threatened dog and actually take a stand in front of many people. I stepped out of line and said in a calm, shaky voice, “Ma’am, I take offense at your last comment to that customer…I am glad my “retarded” son, or as we prefer, “special needs” son is not here to hear that comment.”

To her credit she did appologize…but the damage had been done. The moment burned in the memory of all of those people who witnessed it as I did.

What that moment did for me was to start a series of thoughts and to take a look at the words I speak. Do my words build or destroy, mend or cut, do they advance the Kingdom or fall down the hill backwards out of control?

“A good person, out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Luke 6:45

I have been reminded from this episode what people see and hear in my words show what is in my heart.

Actions would rate a close second.

2 Comments

  1. tomraines

    Great message and I admire your courage to speak up. I can certainly see when I have been filling myself with myself instead of the Spirit. What can spill out of my mouth is not pretty. I am sure you planted a seed with the worker and those fellow travelers to be sensitive to the use of their words.

  2. Debby Henry

    Bravo, Kevin!! I know how difficult it is to be confrontational at times, even when we do so politely, but I am proud of you – that you took that moment to remind that associate, and everyone in ear shot, how hurtful her words could be. Being raised with a brother and sister who were physically handicapped, I experienced years of teasing and ridicule that they had to endure. There were times that I blurted out things in anger, as a child, but learned as I matured, that I could make more of an impact by being very direct, but very civil as I pointed out their painful words. You absolutely did the right thing!

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